The difference between self-healing and self-healing

The former is a lightweight, instant emotional relief method with "conversation sorting" as the core action. It focuses on resolving current emotional internal friction and is more like a daily psychological "light massage".”； The latter is a systematic repair process that touches on deep cognitive patterns, childhood trauma or inherent behavioral logic. The goal is to adjust the psychological response mechanism from the root. It is a long-term psychological "reconstruction project".

Many people tend to confuse the two, and even now there is a lot of physical and mental content on the Internet that either packages self-healing as a miracle medicine that can solve the problems of the original family, or denigrates it as "treating the symptoms but not the root cause." In fact, the applicable boundaries of the two are not clear.

Let’s just say that last week I was working on a project plan for three days. I was pushed back by the client and even got blamed by my boss. After get off work, I squatted in the subway station and shivered from the cold. I took out my mobile phone and sent myself a voice note. From the client’s weird aesthetic scolding to the boss’s ability to blame, I even took out the milk tea I bought last week and complained about the lack of pearls. After about ten minutes of scolding, I laughed. I patted my butt and bought some kebabs to take home. I changed my plan the next day, but nothing happened. This is the most typical form of self-healing. You don’t need to be logical or dig out the root cause. You just need to pour out the stuffy air stuck in your chest. It’s like having a small cut on your hand with a piece of paper. You can just put a Band-Aid on it and you can continue working. You don’t have to go to the surgery to take X-rays.

The attitudes of psychological practitioners from different schools towards the two are actually quite interesting. Friends who practice CBT (short-term cognitive behavioral therapy) encourage visitors to do more self-healing every day. They can do anything like writing a diary, complaining in front of the mirror, or playing role-swapping and quarreling with themselves. The essence is to use the method of "thinking aloud" to clear out the chaotic emotions in the mind. Open, you don’t have to worry about whether it is knotted or not. You can see where each thread is first, and your emotions will naturally disappear by half. After all, most of the daily emotional distress is, to put it bluntly, "blocked and panicked". Just relax it. There is no need to constantly dig up childhood trauma. If you dig too much, you will easily fall into the internal friction of "I am miserable and I am justified."

However, counselors who do psychoanalysis and humanism will specifically remind you: Don’t indulge in the instant pleasure of self-healing. I have been in contact with a girl who works in operations before. Every time she was given advice by her boss, she would go home and complain to a cat for half an hour. She felt great at the moment, but she still got angry the next time she encountered the same situation. Even the lines of the complaint were the same: "He was targeting me. I didn't do anything wrong at all. He just saw that I was easy to bully." This state lasted for six months. Later, I couldn't bear to come for consultation. It took me three months to find out that she The reason for such a big reaction is that when she was a child, her mother would scold her "Why are you so useless" if she didn't get full marks in the exam. The leader's action of giving advice has long been bound to her subconscious judgment of "I am useless". At this time, just complaining is useless. You have to slowly untie this knot that has been tied for 20 to 30 years, so as not to trip over the same obstacle every time - this is what self-healing is about.

Don’t tell me, I’ve met people before who struggled with “should I write a diary every day to talk about healing or to heal?” In fact, the judgment standard is very simple: after doing this, are you “I feel good now, so I should do whatever I have to do”, or “Oh, it turns out I have been thinking like this before, no wonder I fall into the same pit every time.” The former is talking about healing, and the latter is just touching the edge of cooling and healing.

There is no black and white boundary between the two. In many cases, self-healing is the entrance to self-healing - the more you complain, you will naturally discover "Why do I meet the same kind of scumbag every time I fall in love?" "Why do I hide every time I encounter a situation where I want to stand out?" These recurring patterns are the signals sent to you by the subconscious. If you dig deeper, you will naturally enter the healing process of self-exploration.

Taking my own experience as an example, 90% of daily emotional distress can be completely solved by self-healing. There is no need to label yourself as "psychologically traumatized" whenever you are a little unhappy. Just like if you have sore shoulders and necks after get off work every day, you can feel comfortable by rubbing them for ten minutes. There is no need to go for bone-setting surgery every time. But if the same problem occurs repeatedly and has even affected your normal work and life, don’t just rely on complaining to vent. Instead, settle down and do self-healing for a few months. Even reading a few reliable psychological self-help books or writing an in-depth emotional diary is better than avoiding the problem every time.

In fact, there is really no need to worry about whether what you are doing is "healing" or "healing". The one that suits your current situation is the best. Just because rubbing your shoulders and neck can’t cure cervical spondylosis, you can’t just stop rubbing it, right? Of course, if the pain is so severe that you can no longer lift your arm, don’t just rely on rubbing to relieve the pain. Only by doing rehabilitation and adjusting your posture honestly can you be truly responsible for yourself.