What are the relationships between parenting and children’s health?

The care details, interaction patterns, and value guidance of childcare cover almost all aspects of children's health from the three core dimensions of physiology, psychology, and social adaptation. It is by no means as simple as "feeding, clothing, and not getting sick."

The most intuitive one is the impact on the physiological level. Many elders are always afraid that the child will be hungry or fall when they are raising their children. They chase after feeding every time and want to hold him the whole time when they go out. There is a boy in my community who has just entered the first grade. His weight exceeds the standard line by 20 kilograms. His flat feet and lung capacity are not up to standard. He even runs two steps and feels tired. This is because he was "carefully cared for" since he was a child. In the past few years, there has been a heated debate on the Internet about whether to disinfect all children's toys. One group believes that children have weak immunity and more disinfection will lead to fewer illnesses. The other group of pediatricians believes that excessive disinfection will destroy the normal flora of children's skin and intestines, and will more easily induce allergic rhinitis and urticaria. Current clinical recommendations are that normal cleaning is enough, and there is no need to pursue a sterile environment.

After talking about tangible physiological changes, the parent-child interaction pattern hidden in daily conversations actually has a more profound impact on children's mental health. I met a third-grade girl at a community child care clinic before. She always complained of headaches and stomachaches. She went to several hospitals for examinations and no organic problems were found. After chatting for a long time, she found out that her parents always said, "If you don't obey, I will leave you here" and "Don't call me mom and dad if you don't get 100 points on the exam." She failed to do well in the exam last time and was locked on the balcony for half an hour. As time went by, she couldn't express her emotions, which turned into somatization symptoms. In the past two years, there has been a lot of discussion about "should we criticize children?" Some people think that persecutive education can build resistance to frustration, while others say that happy education with all praise is needed. In fact, there is no black and white conclusion in the academic world. The core is not to use belittling and threats as educational methods. Setting rules on the premise of giving a sense of security can help children build a stable emotional core.

What many parents tend to overlook is that the influence they have during the parenting process will directly affect their children's social adaptability, which is also an important part of health in the WHO definition. My friend's child has been following his parents out since he was a child. He would greet the cleaning lady and security uncle downstairs when he met him. When eating at home, he would always pass the bowls and chopsticks to his elders first. When he first entered kindergarten, he would take the initiative to distribute crayons to the teacher. When he saw a child crying, he would pass his own stickers to comfort him. He made three good friends in the first week of entering the kindergarten, and he never suffered from separation anxiety. Some parents have asked me before if I should force their introverted children to become "social cows". In fact, there is no need at all. There is no unified standard for social adaptation. As long as the children can express their needs normally and feel comfortable in social interactions, even if they are quieter, it is not a problem at all.

To put it bluntly, parenting is like cultivating soil for a young sapling that has just emerged. Not enough water will make everything ok. Whether there is enough light, proper wind, and even whether you help it straighten its crooked branches can all affect its final growth. There is no one-size-fits-all template. Squat down and check the status of your own baby, which is more effective than copying any Internet celebrity parenting experience.