psychological stress signals

What most people perceive as "I'm so stressed" is actually the final warning of psychological stress overload. Before that, your body, behavior, and cognition have already sent out dozens of subtle signals that are easy to ignore, but most of the time they are fooled by you as "tired", "not well rested recently", or "in poor condition".

A visitor I received last week who works as an Internet operator is a typical example. The first thing a 26-year-old girl said when she came in was, "Doctor, do I have a problem with my immunity? I've had oral ulcers for almost a month, and all the medicine I tried was useless." After sitting down and chatting for 20 minutes, I found out that she had just taken over the 618 all-platform activity project and had only slept 4 to 5 hours a day for 21 days in a row. She even stayed up all night for two days in the middle. I asked her, "Don't you feel like you've been under a lot of pressure lately? ”She was stunned for a long time before shaking her head and said, "I just feel busy. Isn't everyone in operations like this? I thought I was just getting angry." ”

To be honest, I have seen this situation too many times. In the past five years of consulting, at least 70% of the clients did not associate their discomfort with stress when they came for the first time. A university teacher came here some time ago and said that he didn't know what was wrong with him recently, and he got angry at every turn. Last week, because his wife dropped her chopsticks on the floor while eating, he actually lost his temper for half an hour. Afterwards, he regretted it so much that he felt that he had a manic tendency. At the end of the conversation, I discovered that the eight graduates he was leading had to defend themselves, two national-level projects had to be completed, and they also had eight classes a week to teach. It had been three months since they had dared to turn off the computer before 12 o'clock. He himself did not dare to think about the "high pressure". He always felt that "it is all my job. If others can handle it, why can't I?"

Regarding these deeply hidden signals, the explanations of different psychological schools are actually quite different. The school of psychoanalysis will believe that this is your subconscious "expressing it for you" - in order to maintain the self-perception of "I am capable" and "I can handle it" at the conscious level, you deliberately suppress the feeling of stress, but the emotion will not disappear, it will only turn into physical symptoms and abnormal behavior to remind you. The cognitive-behavioral school of thought is more physiological: long-term stress will continue to increase cortisol levels in the body, first destroying the immune system, leading to recurring ulcers, inflammation, and migraines, and then squeezing your cognitive resources. You won’t even have enough to deal with the work at hand, and naturally you won’t have time to notice “I’m stressed.” You may even feel “I’m okay, I can still handle it.” This in itself is a manifestation of affected cognitive function. There is no absolute right or wrong between the two views, they just have different interpretation angles.

Don’t believe it, many of what you think are “little problems” are actually signs. For example, when I was rushing to write a quarterly case report, I always bit my cheek. I used to think it was because I was eating in a hurry, but later I found out that it was stress that caused my facial muscles to tense up unconsciously. I bit the meat without paying attention when chewing. Now, as soon as I bite my cheek, I know I have to stop. I stand by the window and drink a glass of water for five minutes, which is much more efficient than struggling to write. There are also people who suddenly become careless, and the access cards and keys that they never forget are missing from their homes for three or four days. ； Or the hot pot and cakes that I loved most in the past are tasteless now when they are placed in front of me, but when I turn around, I can show off three cups of full-sugar milk tea in one meal. ； Some people come home from get off work and squat downstairs to watch short videos until early in the morning without wanting to go upstairs. There is nothing interesting to watch, but they just don’t want to face things at home or the next day’s work. As long as these abnormal little details appear for more than two weeks in a row, you have to think about it in the direction of pressure and don't take it seriously.

There are two very extreme opinions on the Internet, and I actually don’t agree with either of them. One is to classify all these signals as "fragile" and "hypocritical" and say, "Young people today just can't handle things. We used to suffer more and didn't have so many problems." This completely ignores the differences in individual perceptions. Some people are naturally sensitive and have more obvious physiological reactions to stress. The result of struggling is either getting worse and worse in physical symptoms, or suddenly having an emotional breakdown one day. There is another kind of over-exaggeration, which says that as long as there are some symptoms, it is "stress overload", and it is necessary to resign immediately, resign, or take a gap year. In fact, it is not necessary. Most of the time, the pressure just reminds you to make adjustments, not to completely overthrow your current life. Just like when your mobile phone is hot, you can just turn off two backgrounds. If you don't do it, just throw the phone away, right?

Last week, the little girl with oral ulcers sent me a WeChat message, saying that she applied to the leader to assign two unimportant sub-projects to the interns in the group, and she was forced to turn off the computer at 11:30 every day. This week the ulcer has almost disappeared. Yesterday, she cooked the long-lost snail noodles at home. In the photo she took for me, there was a runny omelette on the bowl.

In fact, it’s really not that complicated. Pressure is never polite to you, but it also never makes sudden attacks without saying hello. Those little pains, itches, and abnormalities that you don’t take seriously are just small notes handed to you. If you stop to pick them up, it will save you a lot of trouble later.